last night a friend from long ago and far away found me on facebook. a phone call later and we chatted for a couple of hours.
tonight, the kids had me over at karen's house for supper and aftewards while karen and darlene were out for a canoe ride, and while watching monty python and the holy grail with them, i came across a book i had bought from renee in the 80s: we are all part of one another: a barbara deming reader. so, i went looking online for more about deming (1917-1984).
this is from Barbara Deming: An Activist Life, by Donna McCabe:
"For Barbara, the task for all of us is to erase the so-called differences between the sexes, bring out the women in all men, the man in all women. By doing so, we are able to act not as atomized individuals, but as parts of a larger community. We join gender back into an singular noun. Barbara saw this leap as possible when discussing gender in a way she was not able to understand during her lifetime of activism. "I would say myself that our sexuality is given us so that we can commune with one another. It cracks our single selves. Without sexuality we would be impossibly isolated within our individualities. We could not experience community, could not experience in our flesh the truth that we are, all of us, members one of another" (244). Our sexuality is very damaged. Damaged by the attempt to split it into the so-called male and so-called female. This lie is what has weakened any possibilities of communion. "If society did not try to make us all heterosexuals - and if patriarchy were dispelled and, with it, the power inequities that make most heterosexual relationships so distorting - my guess is that we would find ourselves quite naturally attracted to either sex" (246). Barbara recognized the base opposition that created all others to be gender. A separation of our very be-ing."
how timely is that now that i'm going back to school to study language and social justice? it's as if it's all coming back to me, and i hope to give it all back.
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