happy father's day; found some old friends

last night a friend from long ago and far away found me on facebook. a phone call later and we chatted for a couple of hours.

tonight, the kids had me over at karen's house for supper and aftewards while karen and darlene were out for a canoe ride, and while watching monty python and the holy grail with them, i came across a book i had bought from renee in the 80s: we are all part of one another: a barbara deming reader. so, i went looking online for more about deming (1917-1984).

this is from Barbara Deming: An Activist Life, by Donna McCabe:

"For Barbara, the task for all of us is to erase the so-called differences between the sexes, bring out the women in all men, the man in all women. By doing so, we are able to act not as atomized individuals, but as parts of a larger community. We join gender back into an singular noun. Barbara saw this leap as possible when discussing gender in a way she was not able to understand during her lifetime of activism. "I would say myself that our sexuality is given us so that we can commune with one another. It cracks our single selves. Without sexuality we would be impossibly isolated within our individualities. We could not experience community, could not experience in our flesh the truth that we are, all of us, members one of another" (244). Our sexuality is very damaged. Damaged by the attempt to split it into the so-called male and so-called female. This lie is what has weakened any possibilities of communion. "If society did not try to make us all heterosexuals - and if patriarchy were dispelled and, with it, the power inequities that make most heterosexual relationships so distorting - my guess is that we would find ourselves quite naturally attracted to either sex" (246). Barbara recognized the base opposition that created all others to be gender. A separation of our very be-ing."

how timely is that now that i'm going back to school to study language and social justice? it's as if it's all coming back to me, and i hope to give it all back.

excerpt from temporary insanity: a world in transition, by philip slater

i was following up on one of the sociologists referenced in my textbook, Philip Slater. i never heard of him, but it seems i should have --not only is he a sociologist, he's an actor and a playwright. in 1982 he was chosen by MS. Magazine as one of its "male heroes."

here's the conclusion to a essay on his homepage:

the whole essay is worth reading, (he has a lot to say about religious fundamentalists, for example) but i thought i'd get to the point: the world is changing from a control culture to an integrative culture, and slater is optimistic....

he writes:


If change happened slowly and smoothly we might be able to handle it more gracefully. But that's not what happens. As they sense an old cultural system dying around them, those who espouse it will assert its values more harshly, more stridently, more desperately. The most extreme forms of authoritarianism, for example, occurred in the 1930s, when democracy was a growing trend.

The growth of Integrative Culture and the simultaneous rise of fundamentalism around the world make us feel the world's going in opposite directions at the same time. We've never been more concerned about the environment yet never more destructive of it; never more distrustful of technology yet never more dependent on it; never more opposed to violence yet never more fascinated with it; never more ego-driven and never more hungry to lose ourselves in something beyond ego; never more health conscious yet never more unhealthy. And while we've never had more ways of connecting with each other, we've never felt more disconnected.

These are the predictable symptoms of a culture in transition. Old familiar habits have begun to seem irrelevant or destructive, while the emerging system still feels awkward and uncomfortable, like shoes that haven't yet shaped themselves to our feet.

[his conclusion;]

It will be decades before Integrative Culture achieves the kind of general acceptance that Control Culture enjoyed for thousands of years.

..

A new cultural system tends to be built around what was trivialized in the old one. Integrative values were never absent during the Controller era, they were simply assigned inferior status--something women concerned themselves with. Similarly, when Integrative Culture achieves a comfortable preponderance in our shrinking world, Controller values will have a niche—something men play with. The kind of consensus that will permit this is a long way off, but we can take some comfort from the likelihood that our descendants will enjoy it. Prophets of doom always attract an audience because people love drama, but the probable reality is more mundane: we can expect a long period of adaptation, during which violent flare-ups, like those of this decade, will gradually diminish in frequency as more and more of the world embraces the emerging culture. Life on our planet will then settle into an equilibrium--one that may not create any more happiness, but will at least be more stable.

malalai joya needs your help!

you can read and view this courageous young woman's struggle at http://www.malalaijoya.com/index1024.htm. she needs all the international exposure she can get right now to protect her from those who want to kill her and silence her. on the site there are email addresses for the president of afghanistan and other officials. here is the letter i wrote:

Date: Wed, 23 May 2007 22:03:03 -0400 (EDT)
From: Peter Ladage
Subject: Concern for Malalai Joya
To: president@afghanistangov.org
Cc: aquddus@supremecourt.gov.af, hasib-n786@yahoo.com, moinews@gmail.com,
wahed.moi@gmail.com, info@moj.gov.af, hidayatr@moj.gov.af,
mj@malalaijoya.com

Dear Mr. President,

I am greatly troubled to learn of the expulsion of one of the members of your parliament, Malalai Joya, and that death threats are being uttered against her.

I am sure that your great country honours the will of the people who elected Ms. Joya to represent them. I understand that she has done much good for the poor and the children of Farah, and that she is much loved and respected.

As you know, Malalai Joya is greatly respected around the world, and her humanitarian efforts bring much respect to your great country.

I am sure that as President you will do everything in your power to protect this honoured citizen and restore this parliamentarian to her seat in your legislature.

Most sincerely and humbly,

Peter Ladage,
Canada

i also wrote to our government.


who is malalai joya?

from Human Rights Watch (http://hrw.org/english/docs/2007/05/23/afghan15995.htm):

The Afghan parliament should immediately reinstate Malalai Joya, a member suspended for criticizing colleagues, and revise parliamentary procedures that restrict freedom of speech, Human Rights Watch said today.

Joya, 28, is the youngest member of the Afghan legislature. As a 19-year-old refugee in Pakistan, she taught literacy courses to other Afghan women. During the Taliban years, she ran an orphanage and health clinic in Afghanistan. In 2003, she gained international attention for speaking out publicly against warlords involved in drafting the Afghan Constitution. Two years later, she was the top vote-getter from Farah province in Afghanistan's parliamentary elections, and was easily elected to the lower house of the legislature.

Since her election, Joya has continued to be an outspoken defender and promoter of the rights of Afghan women and children. She has also continued to publicly call for accountability for war crimes, even those perpetrated by fellow parliamentarians.

Joya has survived four assassination attempts, travels with armed guards and reportedly never spends two nights in the same place.